Monday, 13 March 2017

The "Not Really A Hat" Hat.

The 5 Year Old is wearing a hat.

"I'm wearing a hat." See? To be accurate, it is a purple bobble hat with that insufferably jolly one from Trolls on it. "I have also invented a hat."


"Yes, it is a special hat that doesn't cover your hair like this one."

"What does it cover, then?"

"It covers your entire body EXCEPT your hair! All the way up!"

"So not really a hat," I hedge.

"Yes, it is a hat, because I call it a hat." No arguing with that.

"How do you see out if it covers your entire body?" I ask.

"You must have tiny holes for your eyes so you can see, and your nose so you can breathe, and your mouth so you can talk," she explains, "and maybe someone walking in front of you to show the way."

This sounds like a lot of effort for a hat. It starts to spit with rain.

"I hate it when it rains," she tuts. Then she thinks. "The hat must have fasteners!"

"Why is that?"

"Because we need to have a hood for when it rains!"

"Why not have a hat that just covers your whole body, head as well?"

"Because you NEED to have your HAIR out!"

Oh, yes. Silly me.

"You could sew it for me. And you could make it a super-hero hat that flies!" she asserts.

"How do I make it fly?" I wonder.

"I'll breathe in some air, keep it in my cheeks, then blow it into the hat when you sew it!" And she does, which effectively ends the conversation.

Ironically, my doing the sewing is the least plausible part of this plan...

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