Sunday, 2 April 2017

Misinformed Consent

Sometimes, the 5 Year Old lays traps.

"Should you kiss someone without asking first?" she enquires.

A-ha! I know the answer to this one, as we have tried to be clear with our children that it's cool to not want a hug or a kiss, and no means no like Brexit means Brexit.

"No, no. You should always check that it's OK first." Clear message there.

"What about kissing someone when they are asleep?"

Ooh, now that's a thornier one, because I have almost certainly given the children a peck on the cheek when they were sleeping babies or when checking on them tucked in at night... Let's hedge my bets a bit.

"Maybe if they were a member of your family and you know they don't mind having a kiss, but usually? Definitely not."

She pauses, then triggers the trap.

"So Sleeping Beauty is going to DIE???" Um... what? "Because the Prince kisses her to wake her up, and he has NOT asked if she wants him to first?" This needs pointing to emphasise its wrongness.

"Ah," Daddy thinks fast, "but that's different because she has been asleep for a hundred years!" Ta-dah!

"So she's really old?" 5 Year Old goggles. "It's OK to kiss people without asking if they are really OLD??"

"Uh, not sure that's what I meant really...."

"But Snow White is going to DIE!"


"Because the other Prince kisses her when she is DEAD, so he really didn't ask."

"But... but... she had been poisoned by an apple, and..."

"So you can kiss people without asking first if they are OLD or you POISON them?"

I can't see a way out of this moral dilemma, so I do what a true hero would do.

I change the subject to distract her.

"Oh look, the shop, do you want one of those yoghurts with chocolate bits in the corner?"

Job done!

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